The Uncomfortableness of Being Led by the Spirit

There are too many times that I would rather do what is comfortable. "Comfortable" is under my control. "Comfortable" allows me to know what is coming, allows me to do things in a manner that are not strange to me. "Comfortable" also gives me the power to shape my experience. The problem with "comfortable" is that I think it also keeps me from being open to the Spirit of God.

Being led by the Spirit of God into situations, different contexts, different experiences seems to take me into places where I am not very comfortable at all. I guess what makes me comfortable is that I can rely on myself, my abilities, my limitations. What makes me uncomfortable is to be asked to live outside of those bounds.

As I read Scripture -- I am in the midst of re-reading the birth narratives of Jesus -- I see there is very little of "being comfortable" in heeding the Spirit of God. Was Mary comfortable when she was visited by an angel telling her that she would give birth to a son who would be known as the Son of God? Was Joseph comfortable, finding Mary to be with child and wanting to break his engagement with her, to discover that what was conceived in her was by the Spirit? I think they were comforted by God, but there were far from being comfortable. They were filled with joy once they began comprehending this new reality - but it was way beyond their comfort zones.

I am finding that being led by the Spirit usually takes me out of my comfort zones -- and into zones that I am unable "to control," to rely wholly on my abilities. Rather, I have to rely on the Spirit; I have to rely on God to be able to go ahead in what the Spirit is leading me into. I find myself walking carefully, ensuring one foot is placed well before I take another, as if I were rock climbing, or walking a narrow mountain path. I am not comfortable with this at all -- but as I allow myself to be open to what the Spirit is doing in my life, I am comforted, strengthened, hopeful, that this pathway I am walking on I am not walking alone -- the Spirit of God is with me, because the Spirit is leading me.

It makes for an adventuresome journey - outside of my comfort zone - however, it is the only way I am able to develop clarity of vision, acuity of hearing, and courage to participate in what the Spirit of God is doing in the world as I trust the Spirit of God to guide me and lead me into what God is inviting me into.